Why is there so much emphasis on the sexual activity of others? Blaming and shaming individuals who identify as womyn, perpetuating this constant cycle. It’s everywhere!
Cosmopolitan has this new campaign, to combat and eliminate the high statistics of sexual assault on campuses.
you’re thinking, WOW! — right?
From a very white-heterosexual-cisgendered-privileged perspective… yeah, but still, kinda progressive!
at least, that’s what I thought. Especially because I really detest mainstream fashion mags. (Make sure to sign the petition!)
Yet these articles are filled with painful, pummeling arguments placing blame on victims and potential targets. Like, how it’s your dangerous party habit or your responsibility as a woman to put boundaries about what you do and where you go (because only male-identified college kids should drink or be out late)… and not, “Don’t rape, shitbirds. The end.”
Did you see this when it went viral?
10 suggestions on how to avoid rape:
Why isn’t this posted everywhere? Everywhere.
I’m all for talking about how to be safe and what to look for when out partying, drinking, or not being in a great environment BECAUSE society is fucked up and it ISN’T safe… but not if it’s worded to be the fault or responsibility of an individual to prevent their own rape.
Slut-shaming and victim blaming perpetuates this rape culture.
Or even, something like this campaign that targets the PERPETRATORS: “don’t be that guy” instead of “don’t dress like that.”
While vacationing in France, I glanced through a magazine called Madame Figaro (I only took it because I saw “constellations de l’amour lesbien” on one page which seemed deliciously promising) and there was a quiz for curious readers to take!
Really? Those are my choices? To reveal my “inner bimbo” or to be suited up and shocked at any sort of “floozy” looking woman? Ridiculous and faulty dichotomization aside, why do we attack each other this way?
A walk down an unpleasant high school memory lane reminds me of the experience of my sexual assault. The first time I was assaulted, my junior year, was an attempt that created much inner turmoil and social ostracization. The much older, in-a-rock-garage-band boyfriend, Brandon W. of my then-best-friend Brittany S, showed others how chivalrous he would be in carrying a really-drunk-me to one of the bedrooms in the house. After throwing up on my clothes and refusing his sexual advances and aggression as best as I could, he had to answer furious pounding on the door by another individual. Thankfully for me, this instance of sexual assault was interrupted. Yet, even so, the next Monday at school, Brittany and a few of her friends followed me down the hallway calling me a slut, a whore, a homewrecker, even going so far as to surround me at my locker and throw insulting word-barbs.
Where did they learn to blame and shame me?
Focus and energy is spent on issues such as allowing individuals to take birth control – as you know, “Free birth control will wipe out the American race and instantly turn daughters into wanton harlots with insatiable sexual appetites;” discussing if tight pants need cooperation to be removed, because physical threat isn’t as important as being sexually assaulted; and even if womyn are going to ruin the fun collegiate atmosphere by asking for rules to help keep them safe.
This is a cultural problem. Constant perpetuation and maintenance through many institutions and situations
– a very hostile and unhealthy culture towards individuals who are not cisgendered males.
What can you do to help?
Support each other. Love each other.
Or if holding hands and singing kumbaya isn’t your thing..
I only aim to incite thought and invite change in your choices regarding the words you use, actions towards others, the company you keep, and what businesses and organizations that you support.